Drawings - not done

Hey angel you duh sexay

Hej, hello, hi, konnichiwaaa. Long time no see. Well this week have been soooooo fun and sooo exiting and I've done so much thing this week i barely could keep it up. haha lol no. I've done nothing, nothing, nuffiiiiing at all. Well I regret nothing.  We have had a week off from school so yeah.  
Anyways, later i'm going to Dinas place, we're probably going to... eat... and... stuff.. eat.. and watch tv.. 


Hm what else.. Well my skin is drier than the fucking sahara dessert, long story. 


Uhm,  I think I'll wait and uptate tomorrow or when I'm back home from Dina.. 
( uhm.. okay I was going to post this for a looong time ago...)

Anyways, this is a decent picture of how i looked that day.

And this was what we ate. 

Alone and lonely

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.  

I love being alone and I find it peacefull. I don't know why, but maybe it's because I can do whatever I want without anybody seeing me, judging me or looking at me. Being alone therefore only means that you're doing what you want to do alone, when you feel like it.  I can do whatever I want when I'm alone, read a book, write, just think about life and it's complications, and I can do all that when i feel like doing it.  I really look forward to my alone time, just because when I'm alone I can do whatever i want. 

Being lonely however is a whole different thing to me. I can be in a room crowded with people and yet being lonely. Loneliness itself is a horrible experience because I feel like I'm all alone in the world with no one, not even when I want to have someone. It doesn't matter if I'm in a room full of people, I feel lonely even there. 

Being lonely in a crowded room is devastating, I actually had this incident in school when I sat with my friend, by the computer and the room got fuller and fuller and fuller, all the people talked and it all was like a but cloud of murmur to me, I felt downright lonely, and all the murmur made me dizzy and i just wanted to get away from there. 

So to me, alone and lonely is two completely diffrent things.

Until loneliness erased all their traces

Changed room with my sister today, I'm really happy with how it turned out. This room is so much more me. We are going to paint the wall to white tho ( the one behind my clothes) since  I really really REALLY dislike pink.  We're also going to buy a shelf and I'm going to put some text on the pink wall when we have painted it white. The pictures on the mirror is at me and my grandpa on my moms side.

Interior

I've been out shopping with mom the whole day, I'm going to give my room a make over, which i have tought about for a loooong time, but now i decided to do it so yeah.
I just bought frames in diffrent sizes, pillows, candles, a clock, Jewelry hanger, a lantern, a mirror and a... thingy.. lol i don't know what it is..

Dear TV, desensitize me, Give me more genocide please.

I've been home from school the whole week and tomorrow me and my parents will have a meeting with my mentor and some other folks i don't know. Anyways I've been up and running all day long today, I woke up at 7 am because i couldn't fall back to sleep so I went for a walk with my dog for like half an hour I think. Then me and mom went to the bank to fix somethings ( I'll finally get my visa card!! lol) and then we went to 'Barnens Hus' and bought some things for my little brother ( whos by the way turning 1 year this saturday). And when i finally came back home I noticed that two more of my packages have came! This time it was my wig and one of my shirts. 

Okay so I had the worst night in a long long long long time yesterday. I was crying until my eyes hurt, I could barely breathe, I couldn't think. I was this close to relapse. Then this morning i was about to cry, so I went to my mom and just completely broke down, I cried and cried and cried.  I said how nothing seems right these days. I just don't know what to do anymore.

emoshinki

A term used to describe a fan of the Korean pop group TVXQ (usually fans of all original five members of said group) when they are in a state of sadness when thinking about how the group used to be together as five. This could be triggered by events such as award ceremonies, lawsuit news, sad fanmade videos/art/fiction, anniversaries, fan wars, or news of the success/setback of other k-pop groups.

Let me be a bit emoshinki today, I'll come back tomorrow. 

100 questions.

001. Real Name: Lovisa
002. Nickname(s): Key Umma, lol xD. by my minnie.
003. Age: 16
004. Horoscope: sagittarius
005. Male or Female: Female
006. Elementary: ...
007. Middle School: Svedjeskolan, HAHA lol.
008. High School: Hertsöskolan, lol. and now NTI.
009. College School: ----
010. Hair color: brown
011. Long or Short: short
012. Loud or Quiet: depends on, but quiet.
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans
014. Phone or Camera: Phone
015. Health Freak: No..
016. Drink or Smoke: Nope
017. Do you have a crush on someone: kinda, maybe, idk, probably.
018. Eat or Drink: Drink
019. Piercings: 2, in ears.
020. Tattoos: No, want tho
021. Social or Anti-Social: anti-social... 
022. Righty or lefty: Right
023. First piercing: Ears
024. First relationship: with someone i liked back then.
025. First Best Friend: I can't chose one..
026. First Award: Don't remember.
027. First Kiss: Kinda.
028. First Pet: Dog
029. First Big Vacation: No one
030. First Love at first sight: Don't believe in that crap.
031. First Big Birthday: Big birthday? like 40,50,60 and yeah? I'm not that old..
032. First Surgery: Nope
033. First sport you joined: soccer

This or That
034. Orange or Apple juice: Orange
035. Rock or Rap: Omg DD: both.
036. Country or Screamo: Screamo.
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: PPA PPA PIERROT, PPA PPA PIERROT~
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: Jaejoong
039. Night or Day: Day
040. Sun or Moon: Moon
041. TV or Internet: Internet
042. Playstation or xbox: don't care
043. Kiss or hug: Hug.
044. Iguana or turtle: turtle
045. Spider or bee: none
046. Fall or spring: uh, fall..
047. Limewire or iTunes: iTunes
048. Soccer or baseball: I hate sports.

Currently
049. Eating: Noe
050. Drinking: Nope
051. Excitement level: 0%.
052. I’m about to: Change song, lol.
053. Listening to: Elizabeth - ppappa pierrot
054. Plan for today: Go to bed..
055. Waiting for: Something to happen
056. Energy Level: -170
057. Thinking of someone: Yep.
058. Want kids?: one maybe.
059. Want to get married?: Yeah
060. When?: When i'm ready, when I have a job, When I have a place to live.
061. How many kids do you want: 1, max.
062. Any name on the mind: No, Don't think so.
063. What did you want to be when you were little: too many things.
064. Careers in mind: Well.. I have no fucking idea.
065. Mellow future or wild: Depends
066. Something you would never try: buttsex ( lol...)
067. When do you want to die: -- 
068. Lips or Eyes: uh.. ;_; soft lips and beautiful eyes! 
069. Romantic or Funny?: Idk..
070. Shorter or Taller?: Depends
071. Protective or Caring?: Both
072. Romantic or Spontaneous?: romantic
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?: stomach
074. Sensitive or Loud?: idk
075. Hook-up or Relationship?: Relationship
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?: hesitant
077. Muscular or normal: Normal
078. Kissed a stranger: No
079. Broken a bone: No
080. Lost glasses or contacts: yes...
081. Ran away from home: No
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense: No
83. Killed somebody: no
084. Broken some one’s heart: I hope not.
085. Had your heart broken: Yeah.
086. Been arrested: No
087. Cried when someone died: Yes088. Liked a friend more than a friend: Every relationship starts from friends, don't you think?

Do you believe in
089. Yourself:  Nope
090. Miracles: Nope
091. Love at first sight: Nope
092. Heaven: Nope
093. Santa Claus: Nope
094. Tooth Fairy: No
095. Kiss in the first date: No
096. Angels: no
Answer Truthfully
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?: .. Yeah.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now?: Nah.
099. Do you believe in God?: lol no. 
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people: -

It's crazy, Love trouble

Finally friday! I've waited the whole week for the weekend to come. I haven't done much today, Just school and then I went to the library with Beng and Bangk. We talked, and I helped Beng with physics and yeah, It was fun.  I really don't have anything more to say other than that we're eating pizza today! akfjaskfjaskjfckasfjka, happy!

Seems like we missed the whole damn train

I'm having my first class now, I hate this class and now I'm alone, so it makes the whole situation even worse than it already is. I don't want to go in this school anymore,  I don't want to work in the media when I grow up, but maybe it's a bit too late to figure that out now. I mean I love to photograph, but I don't want to work with it, I want it more like a hobby. What if i get so tired from working with it that I don't find it fun anymore? I don't want that to happen.  On the other side, I don't know what I want to do with my life,  what I want to do in the future. I only know I want to move away from here to a big city, like Seoul or Tokyo, maybe Shanghai, but the languages are so difficult to learn, but yeah, I don't know. 
And I don't have any pictures on this computer so this will me anoher boring post without a picture, sorry for that!

Adios and I’m out the door

So, I'm done fixing the design, for today atleast. I'm watching the news right now, lol. I watched "fusk byggarna" before tho. It's a swedish tv program about builders who doesn't do their work right and blabla, I think you get the point? It's actually pretty fun to watch, but I feel bad for the families.
However, I can't wait to the weekend,  finally get some sleep, and make korean food with Sofia, and then watch a kdrama with Dina, I think.
Well I'm going to bed now, goodnight ~